The Good Vibes Judge
“I’m a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.” – Abraham Lincoln
Around this time last year, I stumbled across a book recommendation on Audible called “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” by Dr. Joe Dispenza, and suddenly, I found myself diving head first into a new world of spiritual growth. I was spending up to two hours a day consuming conten and reading books on the energetic frequencies we emit with our emotional states. Dr. Dispenza is a former chiropractor who useda very calculated meditation practice to heal his desecrated spine after a nearly fatal biking accident. He was so amazed by his own healing that he decided to dedicated the rest of his life to researching the how the mind both hurts and heals the body. His work was a game changer for me. I began to implement his research in my own life heal my mental health disorders and the havoc they had wreaked on my work, relationships and my physical health. And I can honestly say that in working to heal my emotions, raise my energy, and let go of the need to constantly be in control… my body has become much healthierand my realtionships are more fulfilling. I tell the truth more, with more grace, and more love. I have only been sick once in the past year, which is extremely rare for me. Because I typically contract the flu at least two or three times in a year, as well as numerous sinus infections, ear infections, etc. Dr. Dispenza’s work and my journey into science-backed spirituality has given me a new lens for my life, one where I feel empowered and at peace at the same time.
But, I think that once my understanding of the spiritual began to grow, my head began growing with it. I started judging people whose “energy wasn’t on the same level as mine” or who weren’t actively working to increase their “vibrational frequencies.” (Big words, I know. I am going to point you to Google on this one though).
Anyways, the point is, although I was growing in my spirituality, becoming more grounded, feeling more connected with God and my own intuition and healing my body, I took on this judgemental role, which in itself was my last chance at holding onto control in my life. If I were to give up judgement, I would really be giving up control and surrenduring the outcome of my life to a higher and loving power (I call him God and Universe but I think he or she has a lot of different names).
I can say with utter shame that it was just recently I realized I had to take off my fake judgement crown. I had gotten used to blocking people, cutting them off, not speaking to them, simply because “good vibes only.”
(BARF. I want to vomit whenever I hear that statement now.)
My wakeup call came while I was listening to a Jay Shetty podcast episode, and he began speaking on spiritual immaturity versus spiritual maturity. Something struck a bell in my heart, and I immediately turned up the volume and dialed in.
”I think it is a noble thing when we dive into spiritual growth journeys,” he said. “But I we need to distinguish between spiritual immaturity, and spiritual maturity.”
Um, okay Jay. Where are you going with this one bud?
“Spiritual IMMATURITY is dismissing someone, labeling themas ‘bad vibes’ because they are struggling in an area we have already mastered.”
Okay Jay, go on.
“Spiritual MATURITY, on the other hand, is recognizing that you were once in that EXACT same place, and the only reason you came out of it was because someone reached down a hand for, and pulled you up from where you were. They believed in you.”
Shit Jay. Why are you always so right? Has Yoda reincarnated through you?
But can we take a second to understand the magnitude of this truth? Brene Brown said that “it is hard to hate people from afar.. get closer.” And if I really take a step closer to the people I have cut out of my life, dismissed or looked down upon for not having their shit together, I can see in them parts of myself that I have dismissed. Meaning I have also rejected and dismissed the path and the people that helped me get to where I am in my life.
And I think what Jay was saying had a three-fold meaning:
1. For the people we deem “less spiritually adept” than us – recognize we were once exactly where they are.
2. Realize we are where we are because someone believed in our potential. Understand that a struggling person is only one caring hand away from growth. Yours, my friend, could very well be the hand they have been waiting for.
3. If we reject our own paths, we will reject those of others. We must respect the path that brought us to where we are, so we can respect the paths of others.
So I guess this post is mostly a memoir of my spiritual humility check, and realizing that I am not really the shit like I thought I was. Thank you Gabby Bernstein, for teaching me to detox myself from judgement, especially the spiritual kind. And thank you Jay Shetty, for reminding me where I come from, and that my hands are now capable of reaching down to help someone elevate themselves.
Because after all, this spiritual journey was never about me. It was never about becoming “more spiritual than the next person.”
This journey is and will always be about becoming the highest, and most humble version of myself so I can serve the person to the right and to the left of me, with pure love.
To my friends who reached their hands down for me, thank you for seeing light in me. Thank you for keeping it alive until I could hold the flame on my own.
I love you.