Happy Girl Summer
From Ashes to a Beautiful Life
Our lives are only as good as the emotions we feel on a daily basis.
Read that again.
And again until it sinks in that the level of fulfillment we have in our lives is directly correlated to the emotional patterns we experience on a daily basis. And while some may argue that we cannot control the emotions we experience, research is emerging that proves otherwise.
You see, emotions are a product of how we react to experiences. Say a person experiences her first week at a new job, and unconsciously decides it is boring, and feels dread every morning when she wakes up to get ready for her day.
On the other hand, say a man moves into a new neighborhood, walks his dog every morning for the first week, and is greeted by smiling neighbors. He felt a wave of gratitude from that experience, and now he wakes up every morning with gratitude and excitement to start his day with the sight of smiling neighbors.
In both of these cases, the person had an experience, had an emotional reaction to that experience, and then reinforced the emotion each day until it became a habit, and eventually became part of his or her personality.
What does this tell us? At first, it may seem like our emotions are captive to what we experience. But look a little deeper and we see that our emotional experiences are actually subconscious decisions we make about how we will react to experiences.
So, what if we made those decisions conscious? What if we started to think about what we are thinking about, and what we are feeling, before those thoughts and feelings become ingrained in our personalities. What if we trained our minds to catch feelings of dread at their onset, and replace them with thoughts and feelings of gratitude, repeatedly until the gratitude replaced the dread permanently?
Great news- THIS IS POSSIBLE! And you have probably done it in areas of your life already without even realizing it! Think back to a time when you realized you needed to change. You practiced replacing an old behavior with a new one until the new one became a habit. The same principle applies to emotional habits! YOU CAN CHANGE. (And for a more in-depth and scientific approach on how to change emotional habits, I would highly recommend diving into the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza, leading researcher on changing our emotions and lives.)
With all that said, I wanted to share how I have been practicing this in my own life - replacing unproductive emotional habits with productive ones. Because emotions are energy, and the quality of our emotions determines the quality of the energy we emit into the universe, which determines the quality of the energy we get back from the universe. And I don’t know about you, but I want ALL the good energy in my life, all the positive outcomes I can possibly attain, and all the bliss I can possibly experience.
I made a list of all the negative emotions I feel on a daily basis, and started to meditate in the mornings to train myself to catch them at their onset. The ones I experience most often are:
- Dread that comes from fear that I won’t have enough energy for the day
- Fear of rejection from coworkers and superiors
- Inadequacy, general feeling of falling short
- Isolation and shame for breaking the rules I grew up with
Then, I made a list of all the emotions I want to replace those with, and I practice catching the negatives and replacing them with these:
- Gratitude for the financial security I have, and for the dreams in my heart that I am manifesting more every day
- Deep love and appreciation for the person I am
- Pride, yes pride, in my ability to follow my heart and my inner voice
- Courage to speak what is on my heart with confidence it will change someone else’s day for the better
I have been engaging in this practice for about 9 months now, and I can say with 100% honesty that my mental health has improved drastically, my career is seeing new heights and opportunities, and my “side passions” are quickly coming into main focus for me. My relationships are deeper and more honest, and gratitude has elevated my daily energy in ways I never knew possible. Every day is an opportunity to create. And while I still have a LONG way to go, I have so much hope now in the possibilities for my life. This is coming from a girl who was suicidal not even a year ago, trapped in an isolative loop of obsessions and compulsions, and could see little hope for a brighter tomorrow, much less freedom to begin to create a beautiful and fulfilling life. I hope this sparks something in you.I hope it gives you hope than you can begin to create a beautiful life for yourself. You have everything you need within you. “You are the master of your fate, and the captain of your soul.”